A long plus a long plus about three more long times a hundred more longs squared to the hippopotamus long time ago, a boy sat all by himself just outside of his family’s woodshed, drawing cats. The boy was waiting to be punished for drawing cats and he knew deep down inside of himself that he probably ought not to be drawing even more cats, but he honestly could not think of a better way to spend his time.
He drew happy cats.
He drew sad cats.
He drew cats that couldn’t make up their mind just how they felt.
He drew cats that were polka dot and cats that were striped and cats that were every single color but cat-colored and a few more colors in between.
Yes sir, that boy just loved to draw cats.
It was kind of a deep-rooted obsession; I guess you could call it, if you wanted to be all harsh and judgmental about it. A kinder sort of spirit might decide to squint at the boy’s actions and call it a passion and in a way you would be perfectly right to call it either passion or obsession. I don’t really know quite when the whole thing started. I am quite sure that he must have been sitting there by himself drawing and scribbling with his crayons on paper making lines and squiggles and boxes and maybe he saw a big old tomcat chasing after a field mouse that had just crawled up from somewhere under or in behind of the woodpile, or maybe he just dreamed the whole thing up, but no matter how it all first started the honest-to-Bible truth of it was that boy just plain loved to draw cats...
A touching and humorous and almost-mostly true short story by Steve Vernon - the man who brought you CAT TALES - Issue #1.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT STEVE VERNON
"If Harlan Ellison, Richard Matheson and Robert Bloch had a three-way sex romp in a hot tub, and then a team of scientists came in and filtered out the water and mixed the leftover DNA into a test tube, the resulting genetic experiment would most likely grow up into Steve Vernon." - Bookgasm
"Steve Vernon is something of an anomaly in the world of horror literature. He's one of the freshest new voices in the genre although his career has spanned twenty years. Writing with a rare swagger and confidence, Steve Vernon can lead his readers through an entire gamut of emotions from outright fear and repulsion to pity and laughter." - Cemetery Dance
"Armed with a bizarre sense of humor, a huge amount of originality, a flair for taking risks and a strong grasp of characterization - Steve's got the chops for sure." - Dark Discoveries
"Steve Vernon was born to write. He's the real deal and we're lucky to have him." - Richard Chizmar
My cat thinks I am pretty cool, too.
The Boy Who Loved to Draw Cats
(A Story from the Shadows of the Grimm Mountains)
A long plus a long plus about three more long times a hundred more longs squared to the hippopotamus long time ago, a boy sat all by himself just outside of his family’s woodshed, drawing cats. The boy was waiting to be punished for drawing cats and he knew deep down inside of himself that he probably ought not to be drawing even more cats, but he honestly could not think of a better way to spend his time.
He drew happy cats.
He drew sad cats.
He drew cats that couldn’t make up their mind just how they felt.
He drew cats that were polka dot and cats that were striped and cats that were every single color but cat-colored and a few more colors in between.
Yes sir, that boy just loved to draw cats.
It was kind of a deep-rooted obsession; I guess you could call it, if you wanted to be all harsh and judgmental about it. A kinder sort of spirit might decide to squint at the boy’s actions and call it a passion and in a way you would be perfectly right to call it either passion or obsession. I don’t really know quite when the whole thing started. I am quite sure that he must have been sitting there by himself drawing and scribbling with his crayons on paper making lines and squiggles and boxes and maybe he saw a big old tomcat chasing after a field mouse that had just crawled up from somewhere under or in behind of the woodpile, or maybe he just dreamed the whole thing up, but no matter how it all first started the honest-to-Bible truth of it was that boy just plain loved to draw cats.
Just that very morning his Daddy had handed him a big old horsehair paint brush and a bucket full of barn red paint and he had told the boy to go and paint the barn.
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French
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Translation in progress.
Translated by Kind Words and Cécile Bénédic
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German
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Already translated.
Translated by Rebecca Ernesti
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Author review: Always ready for a new challenge, Rebecca is a delight to work with. |
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Italian
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Already translated.
Translated by David Lovallo and Marzia Bosoni
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Portuguese
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Already translated.
Translated by Olga Lima
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Spanish
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Already translated.
Translated by Beatriz Tejerina
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