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“I hate cats more than any man on the planet,” Grandpa always told us. “A dog you can take hunting and a moose you can shoot, but a cat only gets in the way and barfs on your carpet in the nighttime, most usually in the very spot that you step on first thing in the morning with your bare feet and then you are left walking around the whole day long smelling of cat-barfed-on-footprints.”
Of course, I always wondered if there wasn't a different kind of story...
A touching and humorous and almost-mostly true short story by Steve Vernon - the man who brought you CAT TALES - Issue #1.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT STEVE VERNON
"If Harlan Ellison, Richard Matheson and Robert Bloch had a three-way sex romp in a hot tub, and then a team of scientists came in and filtered out the water and mixed the leftover DNA into a test tube, the resulting genetic experiment would most likely grow up into Steve Vernon." - Bookgasm
"Steve Vernon is something of an anomaly in the world of horror literature. He's one of the freshest new voices in the genre although his career has spanned twenty years. Writing with a rare swagger and confidence, Steve Vernon can lead his readers through an entire gamut of emotions from outright fear and repulsion to pity and laughter." - Cemetery Dance
"Armed with a bizarre sense of humor, a huge amount of originality, a flair for taking risks and a strong grasp of characterization - Steve's got the chops for sure." - Dark Discoveries
"Steve Vernon was born to write. He's the real deal and we're lucky to have him." - Richard Chizmar
My cat thinks I am pretty cool, too.
Sales are steady on all of my stories.
Grandpa Hated Cats
By
Steve Vernon
All right, let’s get on with this.
I expect that you have already read the title and you know just what this story is all about, now don’t you? Or maybe you just think that you know. I mean, nobody ever really knows the whole story about anything. There are always those secrets and those shadows that are never really truly understood by any of us. We can’t ever see the whole picture of anything, until we figure out how to read other people’s minds and share true feelings and see in the dark and maybe even learn how to walk around in other people’s skin.
In any case, my Grandpa always told us that he hated cats.
“I hate cats more than any man on the planet,” Grandpa always told us. “A dog you can take hunting and a moose you can shoot, but a cat only gets in the way and barfs on your carpet in the nighttime, most usually in the very spot that you step on first thing in the morning with your bare feet and then you are left walking around the whole day long smelling of cat-barfed-on-footprints.”
Only I knew better...
| Language | Status |
|---|---|
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Italian
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Already translated.
Translated by Stefano Vazzola
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Portuguese
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Already translated.
Translated by Olga Lima
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Spanish
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Already translated.
Translated by Gabriela Vallecillo Amaya
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