Named one of only two 5-star finalists for the 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards in the humor category, Goliath Gets Up is one of the funniest books you will ever read. Indie Reader describes it as sidesplitting read "in which you find yourself shamelessly and boisterously cheering for the most outrageous band of misfits to ever have a dream." The story of "friends-by circumstance who decide they must do something important in order to change their lives," Goliath is a rollicking underdog tale about a misguided attempt to bring the Academy Awards ceremony to Rochester, NY and to save the city in the process. Not to be missed.
Genre: FICTION / Humorous / Black HumorGoliath Gets Up has frequently appeared among Amazon's U.S. top selling titles in the satire and humor/entertainment categories. It has recently been published in Chinese and is available in China on 4 platorms there where it is selling with regularity, including reaching a top 20 ranking in humor on the Amazon China site.
“I’m only going to say this once, so listen up. Mark Twain was right. ‘There is no God. No universe. No human race. No earthly life. No heaven. No hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists, but you. And you are but a thought — a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities.’”
When teaching tennis to 10-year olds, it is customary to start with the forehand grip, but I was fired last night from the Eggroll Ranch, where I worked part-time as the assistant head cabbage cutter, so I’m feeling angry and unfocused.
“Mister, did you say there’s no heaven?”
I memorized Twain’s bitter pronouncement at the end of his life for a public speaking class in high school and, unlike most things, it had stayed with me.
“That’s right. The whole heaven thing is a big fat lie.”
With Mr. Wang’s words “you MUSS chop FASSER!” still ringing in my ears, I find myself face-to-face with seven overindulged fifth-graders ready to break my heart like the rest of the world and its grasping, grabbing inhabitants. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t think of letting my new students step between the lines without committing the first three chapters of The Inner Game of Tennis to memory, but I’ve lost heart and with one look I can tell that these three-car garage nambies don’t have the moxie to play the sport of kings. They’re doomed, dandified muffins; miserably weak and soft, and wholly unfit for mental and physical, mano-a-mano warfare.
“But if there’s no heaven, where’d my dog go when he died?”
“Who knows? It’s really anybody’s guess.”
| Language | Status |
|---|---|
|
French
|
Translation in progress.
Translated by Stéphanie Dia
|
|
Portuguese
|
Already translated.
Translated by Kamila Oliveira
|
|
|
Author review: Kamila is a true pro and delight to work with. She has my highest endorsement and recommendation! |
|
Spanish
|
Translation in progress.
Translated by Jimena Robledo
|
