(16b)
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Speaking of projecting anger, narcissists often find their co-dependents (in this case, their romantic partners) easy targets because they’re the ones who are around them all the time and they feel like they have a hold on these people.
Again, this stems from the fact that they could not accept themselves—so they wait for others to accept them and make them feel loved. They actually feel like the world owes this to them, especially if they came from sad and traumatic childhoods. And when they do not get this form of devotion, they self-destruct—or they destroy everything and everyone around them.
And you know what? Sometimes, the codependents unknowingly trigger the behavior, too.
You see, according to Dr. Paul Dobransky, a noted psychologist, narcissism stems from the “vampire myth.” People are often in awe of vampires, as opposed to being scared of them, which became even more obvious with books and movies in the past couple of decades (i.e., Twilight, Interview with the Vampire, etc.). People often believe that a relationship with a “vampire” is great and life-changing; that they’d experience something they have not experienced before, which would make life on earth more interesting.
This is the exact reason why they tend to stay in narcissistic relationships and tolerate their partners. They believe that a crazy, life-changing, amazing kind of love is something that’s supposed to be challenging; that being patient with their partners all the time will provide something good for them and the relationship, when in fact, it just ruins their souls.
