I hate to do this to you, but I still have a lot of thinking to do, Diane. I’m telling you right now though, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. I just don’t see us staying together, not at this point anyway. When the kids come home tell them I’m out of town. I need some time to think."
I went upstairs and got some clothes. Diane was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. "I know I screwed up, Dan," she said, "but I don’t want to lose you. Please, give me a second chance."
I smiled, kissed her on the cheek and left. For the next three days every waking hour was consumed with thoughts of my situation. I even cancelled all my shoots telling my clients I wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a lie, I felt like crap all day and all night and there was no way I could concentrate anyway.
I wanted so much to put my marriage back together. I thought about a trial separation, marriage counseling, or just flat pretending as if nothing happened. It always came down to one word though, trust. She lied to me for so long, even the other night, after being caught red handed she found it so easy to lie to me. No matter how much I loved her, no matter how much I loved my kids, it would never work. I would spend the rest of my life wondering where she was, what was she doing, and was she doing it with somebody else. I couldn’t live like that. It would kill me.
That’s exactly what I told her when I returned to the house. I think she expected it and tried to prepare herself because she took it better than I thought she would.
I called Larry, my attorney from the house and told him to start the paper work. The house was paid for. I would give it to Diane with no strings attached. She would also get everything in the house except what little camera gear I kept there, my golf clubs, and personal items. Diane asked if she could keep the wedding album and I said of course she could.
We discussed telling the kids and decided we would wait one more day. Tomorrow was Friday. I would come by after school and we would tell the kids together, then I would take them for the week-end and show them I would still be their dad and still be part of their lives.
Three weeks later I found a two bedroom condo just a mile and a half from the house. I took the larger bedroom and put in twin beds for the girls and flat screen TV. Diane gave me some of their pictures and things to hang on the wall so it would feel more like home to them.
Diane was extremely generous with visiting rights. Even though the court gave me every other week-end, Diane let me have them almost every week-end and I would sometimes come over in the evenings to help them with their homework.
This is not the end. There really is no end. Kids grow up, life goes on, passions sometimes die. Only one thing has remained a constant…Love still burns in my broken heart.
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