"Would you please stop that?" asked Harry mirthlessly.
Gryffindor abruptly stopped screaming and started laughing. Silvery tears of joy streamed down his face as Hermione spun around with a stunned look on her face. "That was you?" Hermione asked, scandalized. "We thought it was coming from the Horcrux!"
"Why would an inanimate object scream?" Gryffindor asked in-between peals of laughter.
"Because.... Because it's a Horcrux!" Harry answered passionately.
"Big deal," retorted Gryffindor. "What were you expecting? Something like the fragment of Voldemort's soul taking shape and begin to jump around? Or even a flash of lightning? Why think small: why not have the walls come tumbling down around you?"
"Well... yes," Harry replied sullenly. He had in fact, expected something along those lines to happen.
"Even if Voldemort had put a curse or hex to protect his soul fragment, my sword would've protected you from it," informed the ghost. "Remember, I told you that already."
"That's no excuse to make fun of us," Ron stated.
"Yes, it is!" Gryffindor replied, before another bout of laughter hit him.
Harry shook his head and signaled for Hermione and Ron to follow. As the trio made their way to the kitchen fire-place, Gryffindor asked, "Wait a tick, where are you lot going?"
"Back to Hogwarts," answered Harry.
"All right, let me tag along," Gryffindor said and fell in line behind Ron.
Harry and Hermione sighed while Ron gulped. None of them wanted the perverted ghost to follow them, they had had enough of his antics for a while. Then Harry got an idea; one that would hopefully entertain Gryffindor for a while and leave them alone.
"Oi, Gryffindor, there's a magical painting of an old bird out there," Harry started.
"So? There's plenty of those paintings back home," Gryffindor replied, dismissing Harry's statement.
"This is different. She's randy," Harry said.
"Really!" Gryffindor said gleefully, reversing his stance on returning to Hogwarts. "Where's this lovely lass?"
Harry pointed to the door and the ghost - somehow - threw the door open and scurried out. As Hermione disappeared in the fireplace; Harry could hear Gryffindor greet Mrs. Black. "Well, hello there, luv. NICE TATTOO!"
"Who are you?" Mrs. Black screeched. Ron practically jumped into the green flames and couldn't say "Hogwarts" fast enough. "Where's my beautiful half-blood, my prince of princes, Harry?"
"Oh, he's a bit busy, poppet," Gryffindor said silkily. "But he told me to entertain you for a bit."
"Really?" Mrs. Black asked and Harry stepped into the flames and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. "Well I guess that's fine then."
"Hogwarts; Headmistress' office!" announced Harry. But before he left Grimmauld Place, he heard Mrs. Black moan lustily and Gryffindor exclaim, "WOW! I've never seen anyone do that with their own fist before!"
To Be Continued
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